What Real Fathers Know

Yes. It’s Father’s Day!

And we see it happening everywhere, and it will happen all day long.

Me... Barely Young
Me… Barely Young

Everyone is wishing their own father’s a “happy” celebration. “To the best dad” or “There’s no one like you” or “No one is better than you at being my father.”

For some, there are extra special men in their lives that are like surrogate fathers. They receive accolades for the extra work they invest into another persons life!

In reality, Fathers sit back during this time and feel a little foolish. Why? We know the truth!

We are not the best, and there are many who have done it better than we!

But as for me, I know I am the biological father of a selected and small number of children. I am the genesis to another persons creation. This is a father’s first call to fame. We may not be perfect. We may struggle with our role. However…

…it’s what we become that makes us truly special.

I remember when my son was born. No one sat me down and said, “Alright, this is how you raise a kid.” There was no instruction booklet. It was during a particularly stressful time of employment – untold hours of OT, stress of computer migration, managing 24 hours shifts, 7 days a week. Tired beyond belief. All the while I had helped relocate my parents to Alaska and was yearning for the Far North.

Our health insurance did not cover maternity at all, unless there was an extended hospital stay. However, my company (Gray Tool Company) did give $500 for every new birth into an employees life. Our first born was going to cost $755… Two months before Jason was born, the company bumped up the benefit to $750! Sweet!

Jason, you cost us 5 bucks… Ha!

Elizabeth, between you and Jason was another potential child. It did not survive and after a couple of expectant months it was gone. But then, as we made that transition to the Far North, you were conceived and we had no clue when we arrived in -45 degree temperature of a blustery November, 1980 – you would arrive the next July.

Your cost? Nearly $3,000 – the cost difference of a few years and a few thousand miles north added another decimal point.Thankfully, our new insurance at National Bank of Alaska paid everything!

Elizabeth, you cost us nothing! Ha!

Over the next 20 years my ability to be a good father was tested many times. Some times it felt like abysmal failure. Most times it was an exhilarating joy. To watch two babies grow and become. My kids. No. My talented kids!

Of course, what Real Fathers know? You are not in this alone! Your salvation is that you had your spouse.

This is what most real fathers know. Without their spouse to co-manage life on the home front then our job of fathering is so much more difficult.

So, in the thought process of this wonderful day, I thank my lovely bride of nearly 40 years. Brenda, you make my job so much easier, and so much the better. Love you!

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