Conversations with my mind… There are often nights I wake up and cannot get to back to sleep because my mind begins racing with all of the tasks left undone, situations needing to be dealt with, struggles with this, issues with that, and once the gears get cranking I cannot shut it down.
This morning. 3:26 a.m. and I cannot get back to sleep. I’ve tossed and turned for the past 30 minutes. Sleep is not returning. My mind is racing. The thinking cap is fully engaged.
So. Not to overly disturb my wife I expend energy to lie there, as quiet as possible, until her alarm is ready to go off at 4:30….
Then… I get up.
And read till I’m tired, or write until my eyes are blurry, or prepare for Sunday, or do school work… The list seems endless and I try to be really quiet so as to not disturb others.
However, the subconscious gets to work and within an hour or so everything lays back down to sleep mode. “You’re getting sleepy…. Watch the clock… It’s time to…. zzzzzzz…”
This is not living. This is a poor existence. There must be a better way.
We all go through times when it seems like the pile on our plate is bigger than the plate… Even bigger than the table the plate is resting on. I’ve written about so many different things that keeps us focused….
Routine, Planning, Balance, Leadership, Methods, Principles, Schedules, To Do List, Perspective, Potential, Values, Relationship, Control… Almost an endless list if I keep reviewing my past and recent blogs.
Recently I have experienced greater exhaustion than I should. It has nothing to do with age, rest, time off, or “stuff”…. It just seems that my endless list is not reducing, and the amount of effort to keep re-ordering every day seems to keep my mind from focusing. Hence, I feel tired. Exhausted. Needing a break and there’s no break in sight.
Generally, the problem with finding a break and coming back renewed is that the endless mind numbing stack of work is still there to be handled! No one handles your responsibilities while you are gone and clears your plate!
The psalmist often wrote of his strength as something that was gone. And this was back in the day when there were no real conveniences that we take for granted! Still, he knew that the strength he was blessed with came from the Lord. Compare his two scripture approaches:
- My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me. (Psalms 38:10 ESV)
- The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. (Psalms 118:14 ESV)
Study his and others as they notice their waning strength (energy) and you will find that they realized their strength came from God, and not from anything they did to revive it. Perhaps the key is not found in our own way of looking at it, but we should be looking at it from God’s perspective.
He replaces our strength with His own!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV)
Paul says he will boast of his own weakness so that the Power of Christ may rest upon him. Where do I find my energy revitalized? Only through Him!
It may be true that a vacation is in order, but we often see others who come back more exhausted than when they left. And the few times I’ve taken a “stay-cation” I have found the chores required around the home place beckoning me continually.
Somewhere between the extremes is that quiet place of comfort, rest and renewal. I pray you find it and are renewed. Find that place. It’s there…
So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. (2 Corinthians 4:16 MSG)