Who Am I

You reach a stage of life…

And the question just seems to pop up. “Who Am I?”

In many ways I know the answer to be clearly known. I can identify all my components, interests, demographics, desires, hopes, dreams… I know where I am, where I came from, and I know where I want to go next.

But the older I get I cannot help but look over my shoulder to see where I’ve come from, analyze the present, and then only wonder about the future.

The question has nothing to do with my personal identity. Rather, it has more to do with determining the future. I wanted to complete my doctorate, but ran out of money. I want to travel to some desired global locations, but, there’s not enough money. There is a glimpse of retirement, and money will not be the issue, but a question is, “What do I do in retirement?”

I remember going to my dad’s retirement event in 1985. He was younger than I am today. The president of the company told the retiree’s to do something with their time, else 20% of them will dead in a year. Volunteer. Travel. Get a job. Anything to occupy your time and not become a couch potato.

So. I need to figure out what the future will look like so I can enjoy the time, and properly spend the time into a long retired future. Hence. The question. Who am I?

When I was 12 I knew ministry played a role in my life, only there was no clue as to what that looked like. In high school, we took tests (pre-SAT of some form) and it warned me to stay out of anything to do with math, so, I started working around computers where math was a huge requirement. Ha! Reading is a favorite past time, so I know the blog and a future book is the result of all that input over the years.

In a younger time, trips to the library kept me incessantly focused on books for young readers about historical figures. Where they came from, what they are known for, and where in history do we find them. It was glorious reading. Over and over, I never hesitated to read these books all the way through their numbered sequences. They were sort of Hardy Boy style, but they did an adequate job of painting images of life as it must have been.

This gave me pause to wonder if their life was ever as planned out as we want our life to be. They faced huge challenges of conquering a world and it seemed like problems came out of the blue … and there they were, standing up in the boldest of ways with no thought about what life would look like at the end.

Consider Moses. Born in a time of slavery. Challenged to simply be alive at a very young age. Let loose into the river. Saved by Pharaoh’s daughter and raised in the house of privilege while being cared for by his natural mom. Fled when he identified with the slaves, came to full maturity on the back side of adult living, and then challenged to lead God’s people out of Egypt and to the promised land.

Can you imagine him trying to assess who he was, and where he was going?

For 120 years he lived and served God to the best of his ability. He was shown the promised land, but he was not allowed to enter in.

So Moses the servant of the LORD died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the LORD. And He buried him in a valley in the land of Moab, opposite Beth Peor; but no one knows his grave to this day. Moses was one hundred and twenty years old when he died. His eyes were not dim nor his natural vigor diminished. And the children of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. So the days of weeping and mourning for Moses ended. (Deuteronomy 34:5-8 NKJV)

120 years and his eyes were not dim, nor was his natural vigor diminished. I can just see him looking into the promised land, ready to take on a new challenge. If God had allowed him entrance, then he would have led Israel home. But it was time for the next generation to take over. Joshua.

And Joshua the son of Nun was full of the spirit of wisdom; for Moses had laid his hands upon him: and the children of Israel hearkened unto him, and did as the LORD commanded Moses. (Deuteronomy 34:9 KJV)

This is the way I want to experience it. When it is my time to step back, I want to see the next generation take on all the challenges and lead us forward. That is when I will know that I am allowed to step back. Retire. Relax into old age. Enjoy my family. Enjoy the remainder of life.

That’s who I am…

Who Are You?

I’ve been considering politics…

No. Not that I want to run for any office, but more along the lines of how tough you must be to be engaged in the pursuit of an office. With all the mud slinging, name calling and belittling junk going on, if you are not a tough personality then you must be off in the corner whimpering!

But, just for a moment, imagine your last name is Trump. Cruz. Sanders. Clinton. Rubio. A long list of names of politicos that define themselves to the electorate every single moment of every single day. They must be assured of who they are, what they are, and how they project themselves. Roll with the punches. Jab. Jab. Slam! Duck, Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee!

When Moses asked God who should he say that sent him back into Egypt to lead the nation out of bondage, he was given this answer.

Then Moses said to God, “Indeed, when I come to the children of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?” And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”  (Exodus 3:13-14 NKJV)

It is an amazing answer. God knew who he himself was and simply replied, “I am Who I am…”

If someone were to ask you who you are, then what do you reply?

As for me, I’ve come up with a short list of descriptors that define me.

• Son, sibling, child, adult, cousin
• Father, uncle, minister, pastor, encourager
• Friend, lover, teacher, student
• Faithful, consistent, friendly,
• Lifelong husband to one wife…

When a prior boss in the 80’s wanted me to be more like him, I replied something that defines me differently than the list of words.

“I want to be the best me that me knows how to be.”

This reminds me of a song from a few decades ago by Sammy Davis, Jr.

I’ve Gotta Be Me Sammy Davis Jr.

Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong
I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me
What else can I be but what I am

I want to live, not merely survive
And I won’t give up this dream
Of life that keeps me alive
I gotta be me, I gotta be me 
The dream that I see makes me what I am

That far away prize, a world of success
Is waiting for me if I heed the call
I won’t settle down, won’t settle for less
As long as there’s a chance that I can have it all

I’ll go it alone, that’s how it must be
I can’t be right for somebody else
If I’m not right for me
I gotta be free, I’ve gotta be free
Daring to try, to do it or die
I’ve gotta be me

 

Regardless of who you think you are, the words you use to describe who you are is very important. When you accept descriptors from others that belittle and demean you, then you are giving someone else power and authority over you. When you use uplifting and positive words, then you are denying their power and substituting that which means the most to you!

Two scriptures give you an understanding regarding the power of words.

• Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
  (Proverbs 18:21 NKJV)
• But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh. (James 3:8-12 NKJV)

The power of words! From the same mouth can come Death. Life. Blessing. Cursing. When you surround yourself with people who speak constant Death or Cursing, then what they speak into your life easily rolls off your own tongue and become your own words! Replace that with Life and Blessing, then you are more easily affected by good words and language and, again, these words become your own words!

Choose wisely!

(There will be more about this over the next few days…Stay tuned!)